Lions and Lifeguards

Two dreams! Hooray for a husband who leaves for work at an insane hour of the morning!

First, I was Simba. 

Some strange lions came to the pride, and said that there was an army of giant locusts which was eating everything in its path, vegetable or animal, but they couldn't cross water. (Don't ask silly questions like "Why couldn't they fly across?") They wanted help fighting the bugs. Mufasa said no, it wasn't safe for the pride, we must cross the river.

The ruins of the Lighthouse of Alexandria.

I, of course, was Simba. Stupid and with wayyyy too much desire to seek out danger. (Is that the testosterone?) So I snuck out and went to go help the strange lions. First, though, a guy who looked an awful lot like Liam Neeson in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace stopped me and made me eat some cat mint, which made me first into a flea and then into a human. (Apparently my subconscious has a thing with fleas lately. Second dream in three days.) So then I manage to get up to some Mr. Bean's Holiday-type antics while attempting to kill a bunch of giant locusts. They included such nonsense as: climbing the pyramids of Giza, looking for the remains of the Lighthouse of Alexandria, hiding in the ruins of various European castles (no, I don't understand), and riding a camel. At some point during the European castle venture, my dear husband woke me up to say goodbye before he went to work. (Teachers. Mine leaves at 6:30 AM. It's not natural.)

Then I was back at my high school job lifeguarding. 

During which time I managed to fall into the pool because for some reason, they changed the depth of the pool by a LOT. It's kind of a U shape, with the left arm of the U starting at 0 feet 0 inches deep and working its way around until the top of the other side is 5 feet deep. Only somehow between one shift and the next, they made it 5 feet where it was 0 feet, 8 feet where it was 3 feet, and 3 feet where it was 5 feet. I attempted to walk along the 0 feet portion - something I did all the time when I was doing rounds of the pool. Only since it was 5 feet deep, I fell in. 

I suddenly FROZE. I couldn't move at all. I just fell in this weird crawling position and sank to the bottom. (Fun fact: I can't float. Well, I couldn't; I might be able to do so now that I'm pregnant.) And the other lifeguards just kinda stood at the edge. I'm not sure if they thought I was fine, or that I would get up, or they didn't see me, or what. So I'm just kinda stuck...and just as I'm starting to run out of air, I can suddenly move. So I SHOOT out of that water faster than anything and ask the other guards (while drying off), "Why didn't you do anything?" 

And my blasted alarm went off. I proceeded to spend the next half hour going to sleep for ten minutes, smacking snooze, and so on until the alarm turned off and I managed to oversleep. 

Still 12 weeks until Saturday, then I'm out of the first trimester! I had too much spicy/acidic food this weekend/early week, and I'm still paying for it. Heartburn plus an already overactive gag reflex made even MORE sensitive by pregnancy equals unhappiness. It'd be nice to not almost trigger it while brushing my molars. 

Werewolves, Fairies, Mermaids...and the Holy Grail

Upon finding oneself in a gorgeous church, one does not normally start frantically trying to hide from everyone. Unless, of course, you're pregnant and dreaming. Then anything's possible.

No, not this Holy Grail.

I was trying to find something. I think it was the Holy Grail, but I'm not really sure. But I couldn't let anyone find me. If they found me, something terrible would happen.

So as the priest, deacons, and altar servers are getting ready for the Easter Vigil (I know, perfect time to start looking for something when you don't want to be found), I'm crawling around the organ and the back pews, looking for some kind of hidey-hole with a tunnel that is supposed to go to the Grail. Just as I find it, a little boy pops up right next to me and says, "Whatcha lookin' for?" I promptly fall into the tunnel, and get followed by the little boy.

As soon as we land, it's very obvious that this tunnel doesn't go to some underground cavern. It's the Unseelie Court of the Fae. They're kind of upset that we fell on top of them during some secret ritual, so they turn the little boy into a flea. I'm already hiding, but they're looking for me. And they can see body heat. (Not an actual attribute of most Fae, but hey, it's a dream.) So I scramble out of the side of a hill thing and promptly find myself on a tropical beach. A large dog comes bounding up (think Irish wolfhound) and shoves me into the water.

At which point I am immediately grabbed by a mermaid, who forces a ball of gillyweed into my mouth and drags me deeper.

I'm taken to the mermaid court, where I am informed that the Fae will get me if I remain human. So I have to become a werewolf. Something about being a werewolf will confuse their search, but only if I also become a mermaid.

So now I'm a weird human-werewolf-mermaid hybrid, and I have to change forms every six hours. The big dog turns out to be another werewolf who helps me escape the Fae repeatedly (turns out he's been hiding for years). And then we find the little boy, and the mermaids turn him back into a human. He is actually a changeling and knows where the Fae are keeping the Holy Grail.

So the little boy, werewolf, and I all sneak into the Unseelie Court again and are stealthily making our way through a giant party that looks like a cross between a beach party and a Jane Austen-esque ball. Just as we get to the Grail, we are surrounded by the Fae. We try to escape, but we're well and truly cornered. They start reaching for us, most likely to turn us into horrible things...

And I woke up.

12 weeks. Heartburn still going strong and I still want all the acidic foods that make it worse.