Werewolves, Fairies, Mermaids...and the Holy Grail

Upon finding oneself in a gorgeous church, one does not normally start frantically trying to hide from everyone. Unless, of course, you're pregnant and dreaming. Then anything's possible.

No, not this Holy Grail.

I was trying to find something. I think it was the Holy Grail, but I'm not really sure. But I couldn't let anyone find me. If they found me, something terrible would happen.

So as the priest, deacons, and altar servers are getting ready for the Easter Vigil (I know, perfect time to start looking for something when you don't want to be found), I'm crawling around the organ and the back pews, looking for some kind of hidey-hole with a tunnel that is supposed to go to the Grail. Just as I find it, a little boy pops up right next to me and says, "Whatcha lookin' for?" I promptly fall into the tunnel, and get followed by the little boy.

As soon as we land, it's very obvious that this tunnel doesn't go to some underground cavern. It's the Unseelie Court of the Fae. They're kind of upset that we fell on top of them during some secret ritual, so they turn the little boy into a flea. I'm already hiding, but they're looking for me. And they can see body heat. (Not an actual attribute of most Fae, but hey, it's a dream.) So I scramble out of the side of a hill thing and promptly find myself on a tropical beach. A large dog comes bounding up (think Irish wolfhound) and shoves me into the water.

At which point I am immediately grabbed by a mermaid, who forces a ball of gillyweed into my mouth and drags me deeper.

I'm taken to the mermaid court, where I am informed that the Fae will get me if I remain human. So I have to become a werewolf. Something about being a werewolf will confuse their search, but only if I also become a mermaid.

So now I'm a weird human-werewolf-mermaid hybrid, and I have to change forms every six hours. The big dog turns out to be another werewolf who helps me escape the Fae repeatedly (turns out he's been hiding for years). And then we find the little boy, and the mermaids turn him back into a human. He is actually a changeling and knows where the Fae are keeping the Holy Grail.

So the little boy, werewolf, and I all sneak into the Unseelie Court again and are stealthily making our way through a giant party that looks like a cross between a beach party and a Jane Austen-esque ball. Just as we get to the Grail, we are surrounded by the Fae. We try to escape, but we're well and truly cornered. They start reaching for us, most likely to turn us into horrible things...

And I woke up.

12 weeks. Heartburn still going strong and I still want all the acidic foods that make it worse.